National Fertility Awareness Week

National Fertility Awareness Week

I’ve been meaning to write this post all week, and may actually get it finished before the end of the week. Why? Because my 12 week old baby has kept me busy this week! Clock changes, injections, general babyness.

You may think, why am I writing a post about Fertility Awareness when I have a baby now – I’ve ‘beaten’ my infertility so to speak.

Well, that’s just it. Infertility, and its effects and impacts, never leaves you – even when all you’ve ever wanted (a precious baby) is here.

No, I’m not being ungrateful, nor am I being greedy here. That one job that the female human body is designed to do – mine failed me. The power of science and the power of prayer gave me my lovely Felicity.  I haven’t ‘beat’ infertility.

I don’t want Felicity to grow up alone. I want her to have a sibling(s). I have kind of made peace with the fact that may not happen. Apart from the annoyingness of strangers (including a random in the hairdressers…) asking me if I’m going to have more children. Friends, I’m willing to answer that question to. Yes, I’d dearly love that to happen. But I also know that it may not. In thinking about more children, it means our fertility journey is far from over. We have one frozen embryo that we will be going back for at some point. I’m not stupid enough to think that it will definitely ‘take’. People say to me, including Health Visitors who tried to get me on contraception after F was born, ‘Oh you’ll probably get pregnant naturally’ (the whole being fertile after pregnancy thing). Well, I’m not counting on it…but watch this space, as this Fertility ‘Fight’ is far from finished.

And just to finish, a few things not to say to those 1 in 6 people fighting their own fertility battles:

Maybe it’s not meant to be

It’ll happen when the time’s right

Maybe it’s not God’s will for you to have children

Why don’t you ‘just’ adopt?

Have you thought about fostering instead?

You’re so lucky – at least you can have a full night’s sleep/go out and get drunk/go on holiday etc

Have my child/children for a day. It’ll soon put you off

Stop stressing. My friend’s next door neighbour’s cousin’s best friend’s niece got pregnant as soon as she stopped trying/went on holiday/relaxed.

Basically this week is all about sharing our stories. Mine in a nutshell is 5 years of Unexplained Infertility, 2 IVFs, one miscarriage, one precious, precious 12 week old baby.

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3 thoughts on “National Fertility Awareness Week

  1. You are so right, the battle scars never leave you. If it wasn’t for science I would not have had my Holly. Although we conceived naturally in the end it was only because of wonderful progressive technology and a forward thinking dr who went to look for the endo even though I didn’t have symptoms and removed it. Without him we would still be in that black hole. Science eats fertility but the individual always carries it. Hope things are going well with F x

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  2. I’ve noticed other women who have a baby after infertility expressing similar thoughts, I guess infertility never really goes away! I get so sick of people’s comments such as the adoption one or also the stories of friends who just “relaxed” and got pregnant. Wish it were so easy!

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