Sorry to those bloggers who have been following our little journey and think I’m about to reveal our baby’s gender. This post is actually just a nod towards those questions that get asked of pregnant people and the reaction that they’re invoking in me.
Of late, it’s becoming a little more obvious that I’m ‘with child’ and not just greedy around the pick n mix (although baby does have a bit of a sweet tooth). These following questions are mostly asked by people who have no idea of our journey to pregnancy – I have met a new group of people since becoming pregnant through a work ‘thing’ and also I hang out with a load of pregnant people every Thursday at aqua-natal class.
*Disclaimer – if I know you IRL (in real life) and you have asked me any of these questions, it’s totally not a dig – it’s just an insight into how pregnancy and the associated conversations etc. make me feel. I have had to come up with a selection of automatic responses for my own good (and on occasion the person asking them 😉 )
Question: Do you know what you’re having? (Most commonly asked question)
Polite answer: No, not yet.
What I’m thinking? Do I look that fat that I’d know already (I’ve been asked this question since I was 14 weeks pregnant…) Oh my word, they think I’m further along than I actually am. I must stop eating.
Which obviously leads to:
Question: Are you going to find out?
Polite answer: Yes, we’re planning to, if they can tell at our 20 week scan
What I’m thinking? Are you kidding me?? Do you know how long we’ve been waiting for a baby – we’re DYING to know what we’re having!
Question: Do you not want a surprise? (sometimes followed by: If you don’t know what you’re having you’ll push harder) (WTF?!) – Not swearing Mum, that was What the Flip…
Polite answer: No, we want to know so we can plan for the baby
What I’m thinking: Do you know what? There’s been enough surprises along this journey for us already. The gender of the baby will be a surprise to us at 20 weeks, not 40 weeks – and that’s pretty much our choice. And as for pushing – I can envisage that I’ll be pushing pretty damn hard to meet our little wriggle monkey, whether I know or don’t know its gender…
The surprise for us that we have now got far enough along in a pregnancy that a sonographer would be able to tell our baby’s gender.
Also, unisex baby clothing – yellow, beige or grey anyone??! I want to enjoy these few weeks of baby shopping because we’ve been waiting so long for it. I want to get adorable newborn stuff that we’ve chosen together as after the baby is born, I can’t see hours of shopping leisurely for baby clothes happening – it’ll be a trolley dash job.
Question: Do you have any preferences?
Polite answer: (To be fair I’ve only been asked this once) No, we just want a healthy baby really.
What I’m thinking: (thought sarcastically) “If it’s not the gender I want, I’m going to be really cross and ask God to take him/her back”
I had to hold my tongue when asked this one. Seriously. No. We have no preferences. God and the miracle of science has blessed us with the child we are meant to have. And we’ll be over the moon with what loveliness that will be – boy or girl, pink or blue. I actually wanted to scream, “You don’t understand what it took to get this little life inside us – OF COURSE I HAVE NO PREFERENCES!!!!”
Question: Do you have any inklings?
Polite answer: I think it’s a boy. But I’m prepared to be wrong
What I’m thinking: Don’t tell me I’m wrong because I’m carrying low/high/ craving cake/ your Auntie’s best friend’s cousin’s next door neighbour was convinced it was a boy but it was a girl when it came out and she’d already decorated the nursery blue and bought all boy’s clothes. You asked if I had any inklings and I’ve just told you.
Question: Have you thought of any names?
Polite answer: We have a list to choose from when the time comes (thought internally: and no, I’m not telling you any of them)
What I’m thinking: Are you jesting with me? Have we thought of any names??? We have been writing down names for our baby(s) for the best part of 5 years and at this rate, our child is going to have 16 middle names. I actually have no idea how we’re going to whittle it down.
Question: Is this your first? (Only asked by strangers/people I don’t know that well)
Polite answer: Yes it is.
What I’m thinking: No, it’s not. My first baby was born too soon and is in heaven looking down and smiling at her little family down here. I’ll never forget her and how she helped us on our way. I would really love to tell you about her, but I know that if I do, I’ll make you feel really awkward. So, I’m going to lie for your benefit and say “Yes, it’s my first”.