Day 7-11 IVF#2

Day 7-11 IVF#2

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Last night I went out for tea with Husband so had to do my injection in a pub toilet (classy). It was when I came to pack my little injection kit (wipe, needle, buserelin), that I was surprised to find there was only one needle left in the packet. I thought to myself that it was a bit weird, there can’t have been ten in that packet! Then it occurred to me that somehow, yesterday was injection 10.  I have no idea how we have got that far, and relatively unscathed too, already.

Still no mega side effects, a little grumpy and hormonal maybe with the Husband but I think (to his credit) he’s much better at dealing with a hormonal me this time round. I’m not sleeping marvellously (hence me being up on a Sunday morning at 6am writing a blog) and today I woke up with a really sore throat.  I felt it coming on last night as I was really, really thirsty and no amount of water could cure the thirst.  It’s not painful as such, just annoying.

We’re at the point now where we’re awaiting the (late) arrival of Aunt Flo before my blood check on Thursday this week to see if we can start stimming.  She was two days late last time and she’s approaching that level of lateness again this cycle.  I’m trying not to stress about it as I’m sure she’ll arrive when she’s ready…

In other ways, it’s been a fairly quiet week.  If you can call the weekend of Bonfire Night quiet with all the bangs etc. going on.  After my radio stint on Monday, that is.  Plenty of dog walks, work (lots of), an acupuncture session, a Firework party, a date night with the Husband, a gym session with my trainer, counselling at the clinic, early nights and I made an amazing Paleo Fish Pie (actually it doesn’t sound that quiet a week anymore…):

fishpie

I found the recipe online (which is where I find most of my recipes…).  The topping was made from sweet potatoes, almond milk and butter and the white sauce was cauliflower blended with coconut milk (nicer than it sounds…).  It was lush and definitely one I’ll be making again.

I had it the other night (it lasted us two meals) with crispy kale – which I also love and am slightly addicted to – and it was AMAZING!

fish pie and kale

My body is definitely enjoying all this healthy comfort food this time round (although am still having the odd treat 🙂 ) This time into IVF#1, I’d completely given up on healthy eating, because I felt like arse on the Buserelin, and was just eating rubbish.  I’d abandoned my jeans in favour of nice stretchy leggings and wasn’t keeping an eye on things very closely. It’s very different this time.

My acupuncture session on Thursday was quite nice. Apart from I was maybe a little neurotic.  I’ll explain. Normally the session lasts about 45 minutes, including a quick chat at the beginning, payment and booking the next session. My acupuncturist works from a room in her house so when it comes to the ‘Relaxation Time’, she goes into her kitchen or lounge and potters around a bit and I can normally hear her.  Anyway, my appointment was at 9am so I’d arranged to go and see a friend nearby at 10am.  We had a quick chat at the beginning, she put the needles in then she used the Moxa stick on my stomach.  Then at about 9.40, she said she would leave me to relax for a while. This is normally about ten minutes. So, I closed my eyes and relaxed and reopened them at 10, expecting to hear her pottering around and for her to reappear at any moment.  However, No. It got to 5 past and all sorts of things were running through my head.  Had a burglar arrived and taken her hostage? Had she collapsed? Was she ill? 10 past and I was fretting and planning which needles to rip out to plan my escape.  I was seriously weighing up whether it was best to rip the ones out of my wrist so I could grab my phone, ring Husband and ask him to come and save me and the Acupuncturist or whether to rip the ones out of my feet so I could go downstairs and rescue the Acupuncturist from her captor/collapsed state. I decided if it got to 10.15, I would perform Plan 2. It got to quarter past and I chickened out of The Plan. About 17 minutes past, she appeared and said, “Oh you look SO relaxed there, was that nice?” I thought, “If only you knew…”

At the moment I’m staying mostly off ‘Social Media’, which is proving a lot more beneficial to my wellbeing.  My friends know where I am if they want me.  I’m basically just logging on daily to check notifications and inboxes (gosh, I don’t want to miss any parties or social outings, haha!) and the like but not really looking at my feed .There’s just too many scan pictures, ‘mummy quotes’, links to ‘new mum’ blogs and the like for it to be a healthy place for me right now. Unfortunately Facebook has no facility saying ‘Warning, Scan Photo ahead.  Please log off and look at pictures of puppies instead’. I’m not being miserable saying this, I love babies and looking at their cute loveliness – and we’re doing this whole ‘stabbing me in the stomach’ thing because we really, really want to make a mini us.  But I do need to be in control of where and when I see these things right now. I would have been 28 weeks pregnant this week and it’s hitting home that I would have been HUGE and eagerly getting ready for her arrival if things had been very, very different. With Ellie’s due date sneaking up and there being quite a few people we know with babies due to be born around that time, I’ll have to find a way to deal with that in my own little way I think. And how we manage to deal with it may be affected by the outcome of this cycle but that’s a bridge to cross when we get there. It’s a tricky one.

I’m trying not to look too far ahead though and just stay in the ‘Now’. I’m focussing very much on taking this cycle one stage at a time which seems to be working very well for me right now.

Have a lovely Sunday x x

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11 thoughts on “Day 7-11 IVF#2

  1. I giggled at the acupuncture story 😉 I’m glad down regging is going better this time, in terms of fewer side effects and able to stick to healthier eating. I hope AF arrives soon for you, and I’m keeping everything crossed for a successful cycle for you.

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  2. Oh man I wish my acupuncture only took 45 mins! My acupuncturist is always wandering off for ages and on days I can’t relax well I hate it! Lol You are eating SO healthily! Go you! You really are doing so well xx

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    1. Glad it’s not just me, haha!!! There’s nothing as non-relaxing as lying with needles in you being unable to move and feeling like you need to. I always get an itchy nose or a hair in my face that I need to move too! I’m really enjoying the healthy eating but definitely enjoying some treats too! I had the most delicious chocolate cupcake over the weekend with the most delicious frosting on – ever – It tasted divine!!!! x x

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  3. I completely understand your feelings about social media. It still bothers me, and I probably don’t have a much of a right to be bothered. It’s hard to see what comes so easily for others and what they take for granted. I’ve always thought that facebook should allow you to block things by keyword on your feed. Like, you should be able to block everything that mentions pregnancy, ultrasounds, babies, etc. It wouldn’t weed out everything, but it would definitely help. Instead, I’ve just ended up blocking every person who is pregnant or was recently pregnant or may become pregnant. I have very few people on my newsfeed, as you can imagine…

    I try to be really mindful of what I post (on here as well as facebook). I’ve seen lots of people who finally get pregnant after infertility only to become as obnoxious as the people they used to complain about, and I really hope I am not one of them. But, if there is ever anything I can do differently please let me know. I promise I won’t be offended.

    Thinking of you through this cycle. I hope the stimming goes really well! xx

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    1. I’m not sure if it does ever go away. I remember finally being pregnant with Ellie and STILL feeling sick/upset by pregnancy announcements/’mummy stuff’ on social media – I think it’s just a side effect of the fertility stuff. I’m totally for people posting what the heck they want so I did think about just hiding the pregnant people for the time being but to be honest, some days it doesn’t bother me and I do want to know when they give birth etc. so I can congratulate them and see their new arrivals etc. I just think at the moment, however long that might be, it’s not the best place to be. Keyword block would be helpful, wouldn’t it!!! But at the moment, it’s more real life words that are getting to me – if I could block that out, it’d be grand! For example, if I hear the words ‘Those of you who have children will know X Y or Z’ again in a Sunday sermon at church, I’ll scream. Where do the rest of us fit in there – can we infertiles/those with children who didn’t make it in pregnancy just not understand the point that is being made?? ‘Church’ (not God, I’m not questioning my faith) is so centred around the family that at the moment, I’m a bit turned off from it all and I’m just not sure where me and my husband fit.
      Ashley, you are so lovely, mindful of others and thoughtful that I don’t see how you could offend anyone. I am so excited for the arrival of your little one and genuinely can’t wait to hear all about it.
      Thank you for your kind words, I can’t wait to start stimming – if AF ever turns up!!! Much love x x x

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      1. Ugh, yes. Church has become very hard for me as well. Not just because of those statements (which drive me absolutely crazy), but because of the constant reminder of families all around us, the Mother’s/Father’s day Sundays (the worst!), and the fact that we slowly became the only young married couple without kids. My husband actually worked with the youth at the church (before we moved for him to go back to school), and the senior pastor basically wanted him to turn the young adult group into a young-people-with-kids group. There was one year where our pastor set up a night for all young adults (post-college and up) to have this Halloween get-together, and the people without kids had to set up the games and candy stations for the people with kids. I was FUMING about it and refused to go. Poor Kyle had no choice. But seriously, there are already a billion programs for the kids! Why can’t adults be valued unless they have children? Why can’t there be one night that doesn’t revolve around kids? I completely understand that you and your husband don’t feel as though you know where you fit because we’ve definitely felt it too. It’s a shame that so many seem to feel similarly.

        Okay, rant over! 🙂

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      2. Oh Ashley, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. How awful. I think at the moment that the way I feel is more to do with the way I am currently feeling myself rather than anything anyone else has said or done (if that makes sense?!). In your case, that does sound like blatant insensitivity – I don’t blame you for refusing to go to the get together. I hope you are much happier in your current church x x x

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